A Late Night Snack

It occurred to me as I lay in bed trying to snuggle, that I have no idea who I am sometimes.

This isn't a little tug in my mind telling me to step back. This is a gnawing burning feeling that starts in my toes and works its way through my body, until it literally consumes me. I can lay in perfect silence and still next to someone else who is not what I want, and has no possible hope of making me happy and say that it's "good" merely because I am not alone with myself. Myself is someone I don't know and I don't take the time to know.

In a world filled with distractions of cellphones, Music, TV, internet, and everything else under the sun leaves me at a stand still. A place where maybe I will never know because I cannot find anywhere that I can truly be alone without the noise crowding in. Trying to separate myself from that noise is nearly impossible. All I ever become is what the noise calls me to be....something/someone I have no desire to be. Except I conform to it because it is what is expected of me.

So maybe while I'm up late sitting alone eating my cookies and milk I can shut the windows and silence the fridge running in the background.

Sincerely,
Lonely Panda